Influence is Earned

I remember sitting in a church staff meeting fuming. We had just opened a second campus and things were not going well. Our church didn’t get behind it how we thought they would, our marketing was a joke, the campuses were too close together, we only offered kids ministry at one location (we had TON of families!), we couldn’t find enough people for the setup team (it was a mobile church), other teams were just barely making it, the list of problems goes on. I was angry because I foresaw all of these issues, and offered solutions, before we ever opened the new campus. Now, months later, every issue I had predicted was being discussed. All of these problems could have been avoided!

After the meeting, I sat down with my boss. I asked him “how can I be heard in the future?” and explained my frustration. In hindsight, I should have let it go. I wasn’t trying to say “I told you so,” but that’s exactly how it came across. Regardless, it ended up being a great leadership lesson for me. I’ve long since left that church, but the lesson has stayed with me. 

The reason I wasn’t heard was because I lacked influence. I had a great resume, lots of ideas and even had experience opening a campus. I thought that should be enough. It turns out, influence trumps all of those things.

Maybe you find yourself there: frustrated that your boss isn’t listening, wondering why volunteers don’t take you seriously, asking why the church doesn’t see your gifts or trying to understand why your experience isn’t taken into consideration when making decisions. You probably lack influence (and maybe, like me, could use a dose of humility.. But that’s a topic for another day). 

The good news is that influence is developed. And you can begin developing influence today!

I’ve observed 3 main ways influence comes to a person.

Positional Influence

There’s a degree of influence that comes with a title or position. Simply because I’m seen on stage at my church and have “pastor” in my title, I have some influence with people. I certainly have influence behind the scenes in regards to events, budgets, volunteers, etc. This influence is primarily job related/work oriented. It’s more influence over things/outcomes than it is influence with people. It’s very much related to position.

Borrowed Influence

There’s a degree of influence that comes from another person’s influence. You might call this borrowed influence. When I started at my current church I automatically had some amount of influence because my boss has influence. He hired me/placed me in the position I’m in. Because I have a level of influence with him, I have a level of influence with others. 

These first two ways of gaining influence are important. Work related influence gets jobs done. Borrowing influence can get you in the door with people. If influence comes to you this way it is a blessing! I’d encourage you to think of these ways of gaining influence as starting points though. Although important, they have a shelf life. 

That’s what I  was beginning to see in the story above - the influence from my position, and the borrowed influence from those around me, was wearing thin.

If you want to ensure influence grows and is sustained, you need to do something else. It takes the most time and energy, but I assure you it’s worth it!

Earned Influence

The third way a person gains influence is by earning it. You’ll have the most influence in life, ministry, etc. when it is earned rather than given. 

So, how does one go about earning influence? Simply put: acts of service. 

Influence is earned every time you pray with a volunteer, bring a meal to new parents or visit the hospital when a church member is sick. It’s earned when you take time to care for people: ask about someone’s kids, see how that new job is going or follow up about a bad week.

Like so much of life,  doing a little bit consistently over a long period of time makes a big difference. You earn influence one act of service at a time. One conversation at a time. One relationship at a time. 

Why does this work? Because acts of service let people know you care! When they know you care, they will begin to trust you. When they begin to trust you they’ll allow you to influence them. 

Going back to the story above: If I would have spent more time serving staff members and developing relationships with them I would have had more influence with them and more of my ideas might have been heard.

The 4th Way

I suppose there’s another way influence is gained: when you create something or contribute something greatly valuable to someone’s life. Think Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life. That book created a huge following for the author and his church! The reason? It added a high level of value to many people’s lives. So much so that 20 years after its publication I’m still using it as a reference. 

When you contribute something valuable to people it opens them up to your influence. I’d argue that value must be followed by service though or you’ll lose it. Much like positional influence or borrowed influence it has a shelf life. Consistently adding value (or serving), is crucial. 

How Jesus Did It

Interestingly, we see Jesus gain influence all four ways. His title of Rabbi gives Him influence with 12 men we now call the disciples (John 13:13). He borrowed influence from John the Baptist when Andrew and Simon began following Him (John 1:35-37). He earned influence by consistently serving when he met the needs of the sick and hurting. (Matthew 4:23-25) He created great value in people’s lives by performing extraordinary miracles (John 4:46-52, John 9:1-12, John 11:38-43). 

You can take Jesus’ lead. If you have positional influence or borrowed influence, use it to your advantage! Like I said, it’s a blessing. Just don’t stop there. Follow that with consistent service. If you can, add something of great value to someone’s life. 

One More Thing

Here’s the secret though: you actually have to care about people. Don’t try to earn influence in order to manipulate people or get something from them. Don’t serve to be served. Don’t give to get. Do it because you love people. Do it because Jesus did. Do it because you want to point people to Him. 

When you serve people consistently, without an agenda, you will earn influence. Your ideas will be heard. Volunteers will take you seriously. Your gifts will be seen. Your experience will be taken into consideration. Your leadership will expand.