What a Weird Week

What a weird week. So many people seem to be in a state of shock as they watch the news of COVID-19. The world seems to be shutting down. Churches are moving to online only services. Grocery stores are crazy. We’re supposed to be doing something called “social distancing.” And what in the world is this toilet paper crisis about?! As an added element, I live in Nashville, where much of our town was recently destroyed by a tornado. It’s an odd time.

At the same time though, so much of life is normal. I still have work to get done. I still have people in my life to care for. As I look out the window, the sun is shining, the roads are busy, I see people jogging and others walking dogs. Those things feel normal. 

Some people I know are freaking out right now. Some don’t seem to care at all. Most seem to be where I am – feeling a bit strange. I’m hearing of chaos all around me, but my world seems fairly secure. Maybe I’m just lucky, but it seems many are in a similar place. 

I’m not sure where you find yourself today, but I hope it’s in a state of peace. Even if what’s going on around you is a little odd. If you are at peace, here’s what you may be asking: What do I do about those who aren’t at peace? What do I do about the folks in my church or office or neighborhood that are feeling more than that the world is a strange place? What do I do about the people who are in fear today? What do I do about my church, who is full of people looking for answers?

In a word: Empathize. Recognize that there are people in fear – whether you agree with that fear or not. Recognize that people have questions. And that’s okay. 

Those that know me well, know that I’m not naturally very empathetic. I have a few close friends reading this blog right now that are probably nodding their heads. I’m very logical most of the time, so if I’m not careful, I can easily disregard someone’s feelings because I can think of a reason for them not to feel that way. 

As a pastor I’ve had to learn to stop doing that. I’m a work in progress when it comes to this, but I’ve picked up some tools for walking with people who are in fear or are experiencing any other emotion I may not be. Here are a few:

1. Don’t immediately shut down people’s concerns with “well the Bible says…”

When someone comes to you with a fear or concern, they likely aren’t asking you to say, “well the Bible says to have no fear.” If they’re a Christian, they probably know that. What they probably want is to be heard. Hear them. Ask questions about why they are scared. Let them know they aren’t crazy for feeling that way. Ask what the Lord has told them. Gently and carefully lead them to scripture. Don’t shut them down immediately as if they’re silly for having fears. They aren’t. The world can be a scary place. Of course, I believe Jesus is the answer. I believe the Bible can be a big help. But people also need to know they are heard. 

2. Don’t pretend to have expertise you don’t have. 

This is something pastors are guilty of all the time. We tend to think that because people come to us with questions we have to have answers. We don’t. It’s okay to not know. Don’t pretend to be a doctor who knows all about COVID-19. You aren’t and you don’t. Don’t pretend to know how God is going to move in this situation. You don’t. Don’t pretend to everyone should think/feel about the situation everything that you do. They shouldn’t and they won’t. Instead, when a question arises that you don’t know the answer to, try saying this: “I don’t know, but let’s find out together.”

I can’t remember where I first heard that phrase, probably some leadership seminar or something, but it has been unbelievably helpful for me. It gives me permission to not know the answer to a question, but also allows me to disciple and lead the person who is asking. Try, “I don’t know why God allowed this, but let’s search scripture together.” or “I don’t know how God will work in this situation, but let’s pray and ask Him together.”Use fear, confusion and questions as opportunities for discipleship. 

3. Be Informed (but maybe not too informed)

In this particular situation, be informed. For me, that looks like watching what is coming out from the CDC and what is coming from my local Mayors Office. That’s where I’m getting my news. That’s what’s allowing me to make decisions about my church, keep up to date with the city that I pastor in and know how to pray. I try not to be overly informed though. You might disagree, but I’ve learned that if I’m listening to everyone’s opinions, political views and general nonsense regarding things they aren’t experts in (see point number 2), it makes things worse and I lose track of what is truth and what is panic. It would be unwise to be uninformed. It would also be unwise to be over-informed. 

4. Make yourself available for prayer

If we believe that prayer changes things (and I do!), then let’s make ourselves available for prayer. Let your team and your church know you’re praying for them. Tell them they can reach out if they have specific needs. Or better yet, reach out to them and ASK what those needs are. Some may reply telling you they’re scared. Some may tell you they have a weakened immune system. Some may have unrelated needs. Regardless, turn what could be a time of panic into a time of prayer. (That said, if you need prayer, send me an email. I’d love to pray for you!)

Uncertain times are times for leaders to step in and step up. People have a lot of questions right now and when people have questions about life, they tend to have questions about God. That’s a wonderful thing. It invites God in. People also have a lot of fear right now. That’s not such a wonderful thing, but it can still invite God in if we let it. As leaders, especially as leaders in the church, it’s crucial that we become empathetic to the feelings of those around us. That will allow us to turn them to the Lord.