Leadership Tip: Ask Better Questions

Earlier this week, I wrote a post about becoming genuinely interested in other people. When you're genuinely interested in someone's life, you'll no doubt have questions. Today, I want to challenge you to ask those questions, come up with better questions, and dig deep in your conversations. 

What's the point of all the questions? Connection. As a leader, and especially as a pastor, you need to be able to connect with the people around you, the people you lead, and the people you minister to. 

But how? How do you get past small talk? That's what I'm most often asked when discussing this subject. The answer: Don't ask typical questions. Ask better ones. 

Get rid of how are you?, where are you from? and what do you do?

Your brain shuts off when you get asked these questions. They're boring. Instead, try asking questions like: What's your story?, what are you passionate about?, what do you love most about what you do? Basically, just ask questions that get people talking about the people, places, and things that they love the most. 

It feels odd at first - our culture is used to their brains shutting down from typical small talk. And we're used to beginning conversations with typical small talk. But give it a shot!

If you're really bold, try this: Tell people you're making a goal of zero small talk for the entire month! They'll probably laugh at first, but then they'll want to know more - automatically getting you deeper than what do you do?

From there, you can tell them you read the idea on a blog post and that opens you up to easily ask what they've been reading. What a person has been reading tells you what they are interested in. Then you can ask questions about that. Getting closer and closer to what the person really loves. Each question connecting you more and more. 

This is a fun post for a couple reasons: 

1. It applies to all areas of your life - not just leadership and ministry.
2. You can try it today! 

We'd love to know your results!